Here Ya Go, Mates! Long time no see.^_-
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow Gameboy Review
Where do I begin except the beginning? I will explain myself. I am a fan of pokemon. Hardcore. However if I am going to review the ones that I hate and explain the reasons accurately, I am going to have to review these games in the order they came. That means that despite all of my fandom, I have to take these apart as well. On the upside, I get to whine about these games.^_^
Alright, for those of you that have no clue about what pokemon is about or anything at all, Why are you reading this? In any case, I will explain it the way I have since I finished Gold version the first time. It is effectively pit fighting for kids. I know that is harsh and over dramatic but I don't know a more sussinct way of putting it. You play a ten year old given an animal with elemental abilities and you train it to fight other animals effectively to the death. You raise these animals up so you can earn respect, money, and fame.
Alright, now that most parents are either not bothered by the premise or have been scared off, we begin the true review. Your character starts in a town called Pallet Town. It is a small town that just happens to have the expert on all pokemon, those elemental animals from before, living there.
Let's stop here for a second. The most famous professor in the matters of pokemon, with world wide fame has a lab in a small town consistent of FOUR BUILDINGS including his own lab. Why isn't the town bigger? He is the absolute expert in everyone's mind on something that is so popular that the entire society is wrapped up in it. I highly doubt more people wouldn't track him down, build near him and hail interviews on him with no chance at breathing.
*sigh* Moving on, so Prof. Oak, the expert, lives in your town. When the intro is given where he explains the world more innocently than me, you can name yourself. He will confirm your name and tell you that his grandson is your rival. The best part of this is that he says he can't remember his grandson's name. He lets you name him.
That's right, I haven't even really gotten into the game and we already have something to mock. Oak, master of all pokemon, cannot remember the name of his grandson so you get to change the fabric of reality and make it whatever the hell you want. Many kids had fun with this.
Anyway, when you are done naming his grandkid, it turns out he was distorting space and time because he then shrinks you and it leaves you in your room. It gives you no direction on where to go, just that he will be seeing you later. When you head downstairs, if you talk to your mom, and no one does, She tells you Oak wants to talk to you. No matter where you look in the town, he is no where to be found.
Eventually, having no where else to check you might decide to leave the town. Maybe he is just out of town. It is only when you try and leave that he appears from behind out of no where and says tall grass is dangerous and to come with him.
Your first introduction to your rival consists of him whining. You think that I am kidding but I am not. Oak says he is going to lend you some of his old pokemon to go complete the pokedex. I'll get onto that in a sec. Your rival whines that he wants first choice but just like a good grandpa, he lets you go first because his grandson is a disgrace.
You soon find out that this is not the best choice. You can pick a fire lizard, blue turtle, or a green dinosaur with a closed flower bud on his back. Fire is the hardest one to raise but gives the most payback with high speed and power. The turtle is the middle road and gives you a artillery tank. I am not kidding. Oh, and the dino, no one gives a real damn about. Let's face it, he is the easy route so some try him out but as time goes on, he becomes pretty useless. I usually ended up replacing him.
Now onto the pokedex before I tear into the story in a few paragraphs I ranted too long. Only one question about it and let it float through your brain as I continue. If he is the expert on all pokemon and the go to guy for these kinds of things, couldn't he contact a few friends via e-mail(and yes he has one. You can read it in his lab.) and request that they bring in as many different pokemon as they can?
Alright, the story in a nut shell is you are going to all of these gyms and wandering the countryside trying to complete the pokedex by having owned at least once each pokemon. there is a group of villians you run into somewhat early called Team Rocket. They are the only minor plotpoints in this game other than the quest for the pokemon and the gym badges. You will occasionally fight your rival in plot important locations and if you are doing things right, he should go down somewhat easily.
Your first major run in with team rocket is in the fourth gym town called Celadon. You have to go in there and bust up their criminal activities under the casino, I mean Game Center. Yeah, pokemon has gambling in it too. Are there any parents still here? Anyway, you jump through some hoops until you come to their boss.
Giovanni is the boss of team rocket but this won't be the last time you see him. Anyway, he is somewhat decent if not a bit weak on the first encounter. When you beat him, he gives you an object called the silph scope. You take this with you over to the town on the other side of another town to be able to climb and fight back against the ghost types that inhabit it. It allows you to see them for what they are.
Anyway, when you get to the top of the tower, Mr. Fuji will give you a poke flute after you save him from team rocket. This flute will let you move on to the other gyms. This is where I stop fleshing out the story for you guys because it just keeps going on like that. You need to get one plot device item to get a plot device pokemon into your party/out of the way.
I have never beaten these games because it will come to a point where you have beaten every trainer so the only thing left to do is mind numbing grinding before you can beat the elite four. You could also hunt down and capture the three legendary birds but that is even more of a pain to catch than it is to grind. Not to mention, they don't really help too much. They raise your odds of success but without strong pokemon to compliment them, you are screwed.
After you beat the elite four, you have to face your rival once more. It will be the hardest battle in the entire game and unlike all the elite four members, he has a balanced belt. You can't just spam one type of move and ruin them. It is a real pain and I have never beaten them for that reason.
Summary: They are good games and the only differences is in feel and what pokemon you run into. If you still have a gameboy advance or a gameboy, I would suggest playing this at least once. I tore through the rest fast because I could tear this much more apart but I felt this was getting a bit too long.
Alright, for those of you that have no clue about what pokemon is about or anything at all, Why are you reading this? In any case, I will explain it the way I have since I finished Gold version the first time. It is effectively pit fighting for kids. I know that is harsh and over dramatic but I don't know a more sussinct way of putting it. You play a ten year old given an animal with elemental abilities and you train it to fight other animals effectively to the death. You raise these animals up so you can earn respect, money, and fame.
Alright, now that most parents are either not bothered by the premise or have been scared off, we begin the true review. Your character starts in a town called Pallet Town. It is a small town that just happens to have the expert on all pokemon, those elemental animals from before, living there.
Let's stop here for a second. The most famous professor in the matters of pokemon, with world wide fame has a lab in a small town consistent of FOUR BUILDINGS including his own lab. Why isn't the town bigger? He is the absolute expert in everyone's mind on something that is so popular that the entire society is wrapped up in it. I highly doubt more people wouldn't track him down, build near him and hail interviews on him with no chance at breathing.
*sigh* Moving on, so Prof. Oak, the expert, lives in your town. When the intro is given where he explains the world more innocently than me, you can name yourself. He will confirm your name and tell you that his grandson is your rival. The best part of this is that he says he can't remember his grandson's name. He lets you name him.
That's right, I haven't even really gotten into the game and we already have something to mock. Oak, master of all pokemon, cannot remember the name of his grandson so you get to change the fabric of reality and make it whatever the hell you want. Many kids had fun with this.
Anyway, when you are done naming his grandkid, it turns out he was distorting space and time because he then shrinks you and it leaves you in your room. It gives you no direction on where to go, just that he will be seeing you later. When you head downstairs, if you talk to your mom, and no one does, She tells you Oak wants to talk to you. No matter where you look in the town, he is no where to be found.
Eventually, having no where else to check you might decide to leave the town. Maybe he is just out of town. It is only when you try and leave that he appears from behind out of no where and says tall grass is dangerous and to come with him.
Your first introduction to your rival consists of him whining. You think that I am kidding but I am not. Oak says he is going to lend you some of his old pokemon to go complete the pokedex. I'll get onto that in a sec. Your rival whines that he wants first choice but just like a good grandpa, he lets you go first because his grandson is a disgrace.
You soon find out that this is not the best choice. You can pick a fire lizard, blue turtle, or a green dinosaur with a closed flower bud on his back. Fire is the hardest one to raise but gives the most payback with high speed and power. The turtle is the middle road and gives you a artillery tank. I am not kidding. Oh, and the dino, no one gives a real damn about. Let's face it, he is the easy route so some try him out but as time goes on, he becomes pretty useless. I usually ended up replacing him.
Now onto the pokedex before I tear into the story in a few paragraphs I ranted too long. Only one question about it and let it float through your brain as I continue. If he is the expert on all pokemon and the go to guy for these kinds of things, couldn't he contact a few friends via e-mail(and yes he has one. You can read it in his lab.) and request that they bring in as many different pokemon as they can?
Alright, the story in a nut shell is you are going to all of these gyms and wandering the countryside trying to complete the pokedex by having owned at least once each pokemon. there is a group of villians you run into somewhat early called Team Rocket. They are the only minor plotpoints in this game other than the quest for the pokemon and the gym badges. You will occasionally fight your rival in plot important locations and if you are doing things right, he should go down somewhat easily.
Your first major run in with team rocket is in the fourth gym town called Celadon. You have to go in there and bust up their criminal activities under the casino, I mean Game Center. Yeah, pokemon has gambling in it too. Are there any parents still here? Anyway, you jump through some hoops until you come to their boss.
Giovanni is the boss of team rocket but this won't be the last time you see him. Anyway, he is somewhat decent if not a bit weak on the first encounter. When you beat him, he gives you an object called the silph scope. You take this with you over to the town on the other side of another town to be able to climb and fight back against the ghost types that inhabit it. It allows you to see them for what they are.
Anyway, when you get to the top of the tower, Mr. Fuji will give you a poke flute after you save him from team rocket. This flute will let you move on to the other gyms. This is where I stop fleshing out the story for you guys because it just keeps going on like that. You need to get one plot device item to get a plot device pokemon into your party/out of the way.
I have never beaten these games because it will come to a point where you have beaten every trainer so the only thing left to do is mind numbing grinding before you can beat the elite four. You could also hunt down and capture the three legendary birds but that is even more of a pain to catch than it is to grind. Not to mention, they don't really help too much. They raise your odds of success but without strong pokemon to compliment them, you are screwed.
After you beat the elite four, you have to face your rival once more. It will be the hardest battle in the entire game and unlike all the elite four members, he has a balanced belt. You can't just spam one type of move and ruin them. It is a real pain and I have never beaten them for that reason.
Summary: They are good games and the only differences is in feel and what pokemon you run into. If you still have a gameboy advance or a gameboy, I would suggest playing this at least once. I tore through the rest fast because I could tear this much more apart but I felt this was getting a bit too long.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)